anger management

so here i am trying to write something about a negative trait, which i wont deny having, anger management. i always feel guilty because whenever i get angry, i tend to hurt the people i love and who care for me most. :( i have had several spats with the people at home because i cant contain my anger and i really burst out whenever im hurt. the thing is, anybody can understand it happens but sometimes words are definitely something you can give without any luxury of getting back, and if somehow a person is hurt using words, the cut is deeper than any other physical wounds a person  can have. i believe im not evil by nature but the nature of how i was brought up and how i was exposed to people made me very very defensive that in times i get hurt, i attack without thinking. the price, sad to say, are the people closest to my heart. and i despise myself for that! it's a courage to admit i have this kind of problem but trying to change is another. im willing, very willing, but it's not easy. at all. :( i wish i could just sleep overnight and then the next day i already have that self control. :(