"'Cause someday, someone's gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day, I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, someday"....

 i can still remember the time i cried for you; the time i felt so low that i havent reached your expectations; the time when i thought you're already mine but fate twisted it; the time when i felt i was punched right through the chest with you last words, our last conversation..

funny how i reminisce everything with a smile on my face and the feeling that i can still fully remember. this song exactly describes everything... everything i've felt when i was bitter.. the day i said "so what? someday...."... 

i can still remember the first time i saw your face. you were like a baby, an angel-looking guy who just passed by me. but you were tagging after your girlfriend! LOL! and well of course, how can i forget the girl's face? it has been 3 long years that i've watched you tag after the girl without knowing somebody gets very excited with just a glimpse of you. you were a dream, that's what i always call you. everybody knew who you were to me, except you...

then the day i was dreaming of came, you finally noticed me. you were all praises, how can you not have noticed me before with all your compliments?? seems weird. but it gave me an idea you were totally in love then when i was totally into you. well at least now i have your attention. and then life's humor turned on me; you finally noticed i existed! the picture is so clear.. still very clear.. you liked my facebook photo and evrything went into domino. 

when i was with you, seems like my whole life revolved around you, like literally. it felt like i was in heaven to be by your side, i didnt even notice people are wondering why and how come you and i are together. i got negative things about you from other people, and surely, you got a lot too about me. we were like children imagining things of the future; like children role playing our wants. how can i ever forget you strumming your guitar to my favorite RNB song. you really studied that well. and how can forget iyaz' replay?? your voice was so sweet that it felt like i was back on high school days, felt like a pretty little lady wooed by a handsome, sweet boy.

but i was never enough for you. i could never be perfect for you. i was never "she". i never had a perfect moment, was never even a "good" thing. you were a litlle devil as much as you are a little angel. there are things i cannot talk about when im with you. it's always you... you... you... and the bitterness you have with your mother's ex. the bitterness of the fact that she will never accept you because you are not a christian. but i could have! i was willing  to! yet it didnt matter to you. none of the things i was ready to accept about you mattered. 

we had lots and lots of dreams but all of them included revenge you were planning for your ex for breaking your heart. all of those dreams consisted of me being bait so your ex would finally notice you want to get back at her. what a lousy late realization on my part.

then the day my heart was bound to break came. i received flat texts with hints of sarcasm and intent to hurt. you said you wanted to talk to me, never minding if i was in the middle of a mass, YOU WANTED TO TALK. there are things that just couldnt be. i almost pleaded you to have faith in me. to believe me. to choose me. but i failed. so that was it. that was the 2 months paradise that came to an end. 

well somehow love wants me to learn something because i found out just WEEKS after, you were dating "her" again. the thickness of your face! you jsut didnt have the decency to date her away from me, you did it right in front of my very eyes! and who are you? who are you to cause me this much pain? who are you to make me believe love is not right for me unless i'd find another broken person who'd understand me enough to take me?? who are you?

well now, i can say im totally happy writing this. im finally over you. finally over your angel face. finally over your sweet voice. finally over your enticing dreams about us. im finally letting you go. letting you go back to her. :)

i stumbled upon this very heart warming article. enjoy. :)

 

Old Philosophical Story - Setting Your Priorities in Order

 

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “YES”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.” he said.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you...” he told them.

“So... pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Worship with your family. Play with your children. Take your partner out to dinner. Spend time with good friends. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled and said, “I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”